bumpity bump bump.

Here I am in all my gloriousness, at 24 weeks & 1 day preggers, pretending like it's not 82 degrees outside and wearing a sweater and leggings. Take that Louisiana weather! It's September, yo. Get the memo!

But don't hate the leggings... because they're all I feel comfy in these days. Buttoning my jeans have become quite the dreaded experience. In fact, I think I might die if my legs have to touch another pair of jeans. We've totally embraced pantlessness in this house. If only we could convert the rest of the world. 

love it & really??

Love it. 

- He's kicking! He's kicking! It's really one of the best feelings in the world to know he's in there and being so active. Every time I feel him begin to move, I hurry up and put my hand on my belly because I don't want to miss a single movement. 
- Cravings... and the fact that for the past few weeks I've had none. It makes it so much easier to eat a well balanced diet. Hello Caesar salads... goodbye Whopper jr's. 
- Aaaand Winn Dixie has started carrying my most favorite-ist coffee creamer in the entire world, Peppermint Mocha! So I hauled my butt all the way over to Coursey to get THREE bottles of it and some of the best decaffeinated coffee that money could buy! Every sip is like a sip of heaven... I've got to tell ya. 
- How proud I am of myself for cooking every. single. night. Yep... total housewife package right here. 
- The way Brandon lights up and kisses me and tells me I'm the best wife ever when dinner hits the spot. (This should tell you how often this really happens...)
- Waking up to rain, a crisp 67 degrees, a dim room, and a hubby who wanted to skip breakfast to cuddle (he never does that!). Oh the coziness...
- Brandon talking to my belly and reassuring Baby S that the spasticness that is his momma is something that he'll grow to love, just like he did. Tear. 
- Embarrassing my brothers' with fun little tidbits of information about my pregnancy. See below. 

I know they love it. 
- And we have a baby name!!!!


Really??

- Going to grab lunch with two girlfriends who I haven't seen in forever and have them sit there and talk about all the work-outs, dieting, etc. that they've been doing and they still feel "fat". While I'm sitting there licking the potatoes off my plate and wishing they offered free seconds. 
- Having Baby S kick my bladder. Aaand I've officially peed on myself. Curse you kegal exercises that I haven't been doing... curse you. 
- My cooking. I said I've been doing it every night... I didn't say it's been turning out good. I cried over a roast that ended up more like beef jerky and some sliders that ended up having their bottoms' blackened. Thank God Brandon's such a team player and pretends like he likes his food that way. "Oh you mean I can't pierce this roast with a fork? That's just how I like it, baby." and "Blackened is how I like all my buns. It adds a sort of smoky, charcoal-y taste that really brings out the flavor." 
- Baby registries. I haven't started officially putting one together but I have been looking. And I have no idea what I'm looking at. As I'm scrolling through example registries online, most of my reactions are like "What the heck is that? Wait... that goes where?!!". Holy awkwardness, I don't care how necessary it is, I do not want to unwrap that sucker at a party... 
- Urine samples at the doctor's office. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. And I always manage to pee on my hand. And then I spend an additional 20 minutes in the bathroom literally scrubbing my flesh off because it's just so dang gross. 
- Speaking of peeing... Brandon walking in on me during another pee sesh. He says, "All I ever do is see you on the toilet peeing these days or crying". He thinks I'm sexy. 

a quilt.

This past Tuesday, I had the most awesome day with my mom. I've been lucky to have my mom (and Brandon's mom, for that matter) be so involved in this little baby's life... and to think, he hasn't even graced us with his presence yet! 

My mom is planning on making the bedding for our little boy since I'm really not into a lot (or any) of the baby bedding out there that they have for little boys. Basically, we have two choices... farm animals or sports paraphernalia. And no thanks to both. 

And so on Tuesday, mom and I went on the hunt for some fabric that she could begin the quilt with. After a few unsuccessful trips to Hancock Fabrics and a quilting shop that had closed, we found the cutest little shop that had some of the most modern and stylish fabric. And we found lots of fabric we loved!

I couldn't be more excited for the finished product. 

We also found the paint colors' for the nursery, which turned out to be easier than I thought since mom was wearing the exact color navy on her dress (because, yes, I am being very particular about the navy that will be in this room...). 

I feel like it's becoming more "real" now. Like, this little being growing and kicking inside of my belly will eventually come out. And then some moments I feel like I may just be pregnant forever and never be able to enjoy a cup of coffee or a glass of wine again. 

BUT, as soon as the weather cools just a bit more (hopefully in the next week or two), I'm going to enlist the help of my brothers' and get the spare furniture out of the what will become the nursery. And then we (my mom, Brandon, and I) will begin the fun process of creating a room for a little boy that will be here in 16 short weeks! 

16 weeks. Sounds so soon. Like, I'm going to blink and then have a baby in my arms. I need to really try and remember to stop and take this all in because I feel like it's just going by so, very fast. 

Everything changes.

I've had the same car since my sophomore year of college. After wrecking my Mitsubishi Gallant, my dad gave me his car, a 2001 Toyota Camry. That was almost 6 years ago. But even before that, my family had the ole' Camry... as far back as my high school days. It's weird now when I'm driving in it to look in the rearview mirror and think that not too long ago, I was sitting in that very backseat with my two brothers while we drove with my parents to church. And then to imagine that in 4 months, I'll have my own baby back there. It's quite a crazy feeling.

I've driven to parties in that car, road-tripped in that car, got a few first kisses in that car, and laughed and cried and even been broken up with in that car. I practically lived out of that car when Brandon and I first started dating... always keeping a spare toothbrush and some bobby pins in the center console. I even remember recently using that car to stop by Walgreens to buy a pregnancy test, being scared out of my mind, and praying to God the whole way home that the outcome would be what He thought was best. And now... well, now I'm shopping for a baby seat for that car.

I can't help but think of how much my life has changed since my parents first drove the Camry off the lot. How much I've grown and learned and lived. How many things that I dreamed about then that didn't come true and, yet, here I am so blessed and so happy that I wouldn't altar a single moment of any of it.

Everything changes... but some things... even if it is just the old Toyota you drive, some things stay the same.

Letters to Baby S. - Entry #2

September 3, 2012

Hello Love, 

You're 22 weeks old today and weighing right at 1 pound. It's truly crazy how quickly the time has flown by. I feel as if it was only yesterday that I sat with your daddy on our bed in disbelief as we both stared at the outcome of the pregnancy test. But I know that time has passed because all the inhibitions and fear that I had then has completely melted away and now I have nothing but feelings of excitement and impatientness for your arrival. 

Two weekends ago we found out your were a boy! Our son. And it I couldn't be more smitten. I've spent many hours laying awake at night imagining the kind of boy you'll be. And I know, that if you're anything like you're father, you'll be handsome, smart, funny, and loving. And if you're anything like me, you'll be stubborn,  clumsy, and talkative. Let's hope you receive a pinch more of your father's genes... 

Three nights ago I felt you kick for the first time. Well, it was the first time I knew it was kick. In retrospect, I may have been feeling you move for quite some time, but your movements weren't quite as strong yet and I wasn't sure what exactly the fluttering in my tummy was. Now that I know that it's you, I realize that you're quite the active little boy. Your movements have gotten so strong that your dad was even able to feel one of your kicks... when it happened he jumped back in awe and smiled from ear to ear. It was a moment I'll never forget. 

It's truly mind-blowing to me how much of my day is consumed with thoughts of you. And how much I already love you. Sometimes (and I like to blame this on the pregnancy hormones), when I think about you all snug and growing inside of me, it makes my eyes well up with tears and this huge wave of emotion completely overwhelms me. If your dad is around, he'll usually laugh at my expense and I don't blame him... you've turned me into a marshmallow. 

Just 18 more weeks... we're more than halfway there. 

I love you, son. 

Love, Mommy

What Will It Bee??

Last weekend, both Brandon's and my family threw us our first baby shower. A "What Will It Bee?" shower since no one (with the exception of my bestie, Michelle) knew what gender Baby S was.

Our ultrasound nurse told us when to close our eyes, determined whether Baby S was XX or XY, and hid the answer in a sealed envelope.

Brandon and I quickly drove the envelope to my best friend, Michelle, who held onto it for safe keeping until the party.

And without further ado, here are pictures from our "What Will It Bee?" shower!

And wouldn't you know it... 

It's weird... after finding out for sure what sex Baby S is, Brandon and I admitted to each other that we both truly thought he was a boy from the beginning. I'm, literally, the most excited I've ever been in my entire life! 

The shower sure did make Brandon and I realize how blessed we truly are. We have some pretty amazing family and friends and I can't wait for our son (it's so fun saying that!) to meet them all. He's going to one spoiled rotten little man. 

Insomnia

It's almost 9 p.m. and I am exhausted. Not only physically exhausted but mentally exhausted. Exhausted of my feet hurting. Exhausted of having to pee all the time. Exhausted of constantly having my brain go 90-to-nothing... especially around 4 a.m. in the morning. 

Last night, my sleep was terrible. I awoke for the umpteenth time to the feeling of my bladder feeling intensely full. I laid there for a moment trying to muster up the motivation to actually get out of bed and go to the bathroom and when I finally felt like I might tinkle myself, I stumbled out of bed, bumping my shin on just about every possible object in our bedroom at shin-busting height, and the entire time in those fifteen steps to the bathroom, I thought about about a hundred fragmented thoughts that I just didn't know what to do with...

"you should really clean this room tomorrow"

"you need to get in touch with Shadell about that infant carseat"

"how many rolls of toilet paper do we have left... you sure are using a lot"

"wow, my neck is sore"

"baby CPR... that is important... YouTube it"

"all of the towels are still in the washer... they've been in there since, like, three days ago-ish... they're probably all mildew-y smelling now... seriously, what are you going to do when you have kids"

"c'mon... you know you're not really going to clean this room tomorrow"

"you really need to find something to do with the guest bedroom furniture"

"that stuffed bellpepper recipe on Pinterest would be so good to cook for dinner tomorrow... Brandon would probably like something other than cocoa pebbles for dinner"

"you haven't read the bible in a long time"

"did you feed Lola today? Seriously... you're going to have to remember to feed your baby. It's super important that you remember that"

"have you gotten your voters registration yet?"

"you need to shave your legs... gorilla legs are so not in right now"

"you should learn to speak spanish" 

"and... why do you keep buying avocados... you know you're never going to make that guacamole"

"did you ever text Michelle and Sophie back... you suck at responding to text messages"

"seriously... what is going on with your thighs?"

"I could be a way better friend... I need to call Sloane"

"man... when is The Walking Dead coming back on?"

"my God... I have a mini-human in me. like, right. now." 

"I know I can do this, but can I do this?"

"luckily... Brandon will so be the stable one"

"mmmm.... olives and an icee sound so good right now"

"this bathroom has been cleaned, like, twice since it's been redone"

"you are going to LOVE this baby that's growing inside of you.... absolutely love him/her"

Seriously. All of that. 

And after unloading what seriously feels like only a mere teaspoon of tinkle, I stumble back to bed, get back in... only to realize that I am insanely uncomfortable and the pillows that I have completely surrounded myself  with have now shifted to sabotage me and feel like solid boulders. After nearly twenty minutes of readjusting and tossing too and fro, I realize that there is quite possibly no comfortable way to do this. I look over at Brandon and he is sleeping hardcore and I stare in complete envy. I'm happy for him... sleep while you can, my dear, sleep while you can. 

And I realize that while I may never sleep again, I truly am so very happy that this happening.