Insomnia

It's almost 9 p.m. and I am exhausted. Not only physically exhausted but mentally exhausted. Exhausted of my feet hurting. Exhausted of having to pee all the time. Exhausted of constantly having my brain go 90-to-nothing... especially around 4 a.m. in the morning. 

Last night, my sleep was terrible. I awoke for the umpteenth time to the feeling of my bladder feeling intensely full. I laid there for a moment trying to muster up the motivation to actually get out of bed and go to the bathroom and when I finally felt like I might tinkle myself, I stumbled out of bed, bumping my shin on just about every possible object in our bedroom at shin-busting height, and the entire time in those fifteen steps to the bathroom, I thought about about a hundred fragmented thoughts that I just didn't know what to do with...

"you should really clean this room tomorrow"

"you need to get in touch with Shadell about that infant carseat"

"how many rolls of toilet paper do we have left... you sure are using a lot"

"wow, my neck is sore"

"baby CPR... that is important... YouTube it"

"all of the towels are still in the washer... they've been in there since, like, three days ago-ish... they're probably all mildew-y smelling now... seriously, what are you going to do when you have kids"

"c'mon... you know you're not really going to clean this room tomorrow"

"you really need to find something to do with the guest bedroom furniture"

"that stuffed bellpepper recipe on Pinterest would be so good to cook for dinner tomorrow... Brandon would probably like something other than cocoa pebbles for dinner"

"you haven't read the bible in a long time"

"did you feed Lola today? Seriously... you're going to have to remember to feed your baby. It's super important that you remember that"

"have you gotten your voters registration yet?"

"you need to shave your legs... gorilla legs are so not in right now"

"you should learn to speak spanish" 

"and... why do you keep buying avocados... you know you're never going to make that guacamole"

"did you ever text Michelle and Sophie back... you suck at responding to text messages"

"seriously... what is going on with your thighs?"

"I could be a way better friend... I need to call Sloane"

"man... when is The Walking Dead coming back on?"

"my God... I have a mini-human in me. like, right. now." 

"I know I can do this, but can I do this?"

"luckily... Brandon will so be the stable one"

"mmmm.... olives and an icee sound so good right now"

"this bathroom has been cleaned, like, twice since it's been redone"

"you are going to LOVE this baby that's growing inside of you.... absolutely love him/her"

Seriously. All of that. 

And after unloading what seriously feels like only a mere teaspoon of tinkle, I stumble back to bed, get back in... only to realize that I am insanely uncomfortable and the pillows that I have completely surrounded myself  with have now shifted to sabotage me and feel like solid boulders. After nearly twenty minutes of readjusting and tossing too and fro, I realize that there is quite possibly no comfortable way to do this. I look over at Brandon and he is sleeping hardcore and I stare in complete envy. I'm happy for him... sleep while you can, my dear, sleep while you can. 

And I realize that while I may never sleep again, I truly am so very happy that this happening. 

Food and Pregnancy.

Pretty much my whole life I've had a love-hate relationship with food. I love to eat it but hate that it makes me fat. Which I'm pretty much certain is the way every other person in the world feels about food. So it's good to know that I'm not alone there.

But I've always been able to maintain a healthy balance. I'm certainly not rail thin but luckily I also don't resemble a hippo. Plus I can eat pretty much everything I want and only fluctuate 5-7 pounds on any given day. And I've always been cool with that. Cake is greater than six-pack abs. At least in my opinion.

But now that I'm pregnant I am freaking out. I've seen women that I know get pregnant, gain weight, have the baby, and 1 year later be 25 pounds heavier than they were before they got pregnant. I'm not judging them... I'm positively certain that once you have a baby, all time and effort that you normally put into yourself goes on the back burner and let's be serious here... losing weight is HARD. But I also know I do not, under any circumstances, want to never be able to fit into my jeans ever again.  

I discussed this fear with a good friend of mine and her solution was this: Gain only the necessary 20 pounds during the pregnancy and continue being active after, and the pounds will just melt off. 

Ummm... right. 

I would love to pretend that all I'm craving right now is oranges and cauliflower but let's be serious. My cravings for pasta, and french fries, and frosties are so intense sometimes that I literally begin to feel nauseous until the craving is satisfied. 

Obviously, my friend has never been pregnant. 

Not to mention that when I do begin feel nauseous, the only thing that helps take the edge off is carbs. And I'm talking heavy carbs. I've tried to eat fruit and yogurt and other healthy alternatives, and they work... for like, 10 minutes... and then the feeling of of my stomach trying to escape through my throat comes back worse. And then I'll start to cry. And then Brandon will literally sprint at full speed to wherever need be and I find myself sitting on the floor with tears running down my face... eating a double cheeseburger. 

And as I'm taking every delicious bite.. I imagine myself looking like this:

No offense, Jessica Simpson... 

And I cry more.

My love-hate relationship with food is just beginning to get serious. 

Yikes. 

Our kid.

Sometimes I see pictures like these and think, "this will SO be Brandon and I's child..."

But then I remember that this kid will have BOTH of OUR genes in it. And then I realize our kid will be more like this: 

Yeah... that's about right... 

Baby Toes

For her:

 Or for him: 

These are melt-in-your-mouth adorable!

Quotes.

I saw both of these quotes on Pinterest and fell in love with them. These will DEFINITELY be going in Baby S's nursery. 

Not to mention, I really want to do another "art collage" for Baby S's room. Except maybe instead of just art, doing photographs of Brandon and I and the rest of our family. The more sentimental the better. I'd love to find old photographs of our parents and grandparents and my brothers and Brandon's sister and have these quotes surrounded by them. 

Very similar to this: 

I'm going to have to start hunting down old photos now because this will definitely be happening!

Nurseries I'm Loving

I'm not going to lie... one of the things I am looking forward to the most with this pregnancy is not only meeting Baby S but also decorating the nursery. I have been looking pretty intensely for the past few weeks for a few of my faves. Here are some of the most inspirational.

For a baby girl: 

For a baby boy: 

As you can see, I'm really trying to stay away from the traditional baby pink/baby blue nursery theme. I would really like a nursery that Baby S can grow into. Not to mention, one that may be able to become transgender down the road in case Brandon and I stay in this house and decide to have another wee one (ya know, two-bedroom-home problems). I find that it's easier for me to fall in love with boy nurseries than girl nurseries mainly because I'm quickly sickened by frills, lace, and the endless amounts of pink, pink, and more pink. Which is truly shocking considering I really do love frills, lace, and pink.

Basically... when Baby S is determine to be XX or XY, I am going to have my work cut out for me. :)

Well, hello baby bump! The pleasure is all mine!

Lookie, lookie at who decided to make an appearance! 

15 Weeks

I'm not going to lie.... I'm excited Baby S is finally poking out considering he/she is the size of an apple! Oh, how quickly Baby S is growing!! 

Not to mention.... the nausea that I've been experiencing from time to time is appearing to wane a bit. Thank heavens because that part was beginning to really wear on me. 

Brandon and I are getting super excited! We listen to his/her heartbeat daily... it's like a high every time we hear that little heart flutter. Which gets stronger every day. 

We're such proud parents! :)